Red flags! What you describe reminds me very much of the early days of my marriage----and the problems resurfaced periodically throughout 20yrs....
One thing a good friend noted, and she loved and knew both of us, was "The healthier you get, the worse it gets.". (and once, long ago, my ex had woken one night, I had just graduated from nursing school, --another disruption for him---and I said "I am happy I want you to be happy for me"...it was the first time I saw him acting depressed, and he said "I hope I don't need you to be ****ed up for me to feel OK"---rolled over and slept.
He didn't recall saying that/refer to it again, and I was the one designated with 'problems'.
Years later, after the birth of our son, (ten years on) he said, out of the blue, "I don't know why I treated you so bad all those years"---again, forgotten, backtracked, I the problem...and in the end it fell apart. I had to get out. The kids are grown now and well, I have a grandson, but I also lost a big part of my life. My ex's ex was also the person he would call....and later, women he worked with......
sorry for the long response but I think you should feel confident about yourself. And, you might want to separate for a period of time to step back and take another look.
I did have problems, when we met I discouraged the relationship because of this, he persisted, then, as if once there, ....maybe this isn't relevant at all...but I won't delete...