So there are now only two more sleeps until I see T again but I'm so nervous about it. What if we've lost the connection we had before? Throughout this entire break I've been desperate to see T and be comforted by her I'm worried that I've built it up so much that I will be disappointed. I also have some anger built up over the fact that I felt abandoned and like T didn't prepare me enough for the break or care about me. I know those thoughts/feelings aren't logical but they're there. I really hate feeling angry at T because then it's like my only source of comfort is ruined. I'm so tired but my brain won't let me sleep because I keep obsessing over this.