I find myself do self-talking a lot during the day. I live in an apartment which isn't sound proof, so, probably my neighbors think I'm crazy when I do it out loud, because they know I live alone!!. I keep creating all these scenarios in my head, and talk them through. I also get very busy with self-talk when I walk down the street. Today, I was moving my lips while talking to my-self, and I think someone looked at me and thought I'm crazy. The scary thing when I'm walking outside and have a self-talk, I don't feel anything around me. I mean I know I'm walking and there are trees and people ... etc, but it doesn't feel real. I dissociate in a sense, and before I know it, I find myself close to home, where I usually recover from my self-talk and partial dissociation. Sometimes it worries me because I don't pay attention to what is happening around me. Other times, I don't have self-talk, but I dissociate and my vision becomes blurry. I feel I'm not there although I'm there in my body. I don't know how to describe it.

I'm not sure if this is related, but my mother told me once I talk and walk in my sleep, too. She told me when I was younger that I woke up, and went to the kitchen and drank some water and even talked to her, and I was fully awake to her. She told me the next day, but I didn't remember that. No one told me I woke up from my sleep again since then, but that story freaks me out. I'm always afraid that I would wake up and go out or do something while I'm not aware of it. This was especially true when I lived in a tall building and the window has nothing that could prevent me from jumping. I was afraid that I would jump one day without being aware, although I didn't have any suicidal ideation.

I think I keep many feelings inside me, and they manifest themselves like this. Anyone has similar experiences?