I am sorry you are having a difficult time. Fortunately for me, at least at this point, I am pretty high functioning and have a fairly good support system even though most of them live far away from me (family). My pdoc and t are always just a phone call away and I have a few close friends I know I can depend on if/when needed. People at work have been commenting at how well I must be feeling because of all the hours I put in every week. Part of it for me is just a way for me to escape my 'problems' and not have to deal with the reality of my MI issues.