I'm sorry for posting again :-{/ I forgot to mention something which may be important.
While I think about this during other activities I relate sex to competivity and/or violence, and it results in that kind of sexual desire.. like I think just like an halfway subject between a chimp and a bonobo (which I am?) (ahahaahah)
But seriously, I have a too much animal-like point of view on sex, like I am the weakest wolf in a wolfpack (and otherwise I know how to be not, but I just feel so ashamed so I don't)
Also, talking about this with my mother (I live with her only) she said that some time ago my brother (he is some years older than me) told her 'he has bisexual fantasies', and I thought that probably, knowing how he is similiar to me, he has the same fantasies as mine.. if I am right and this is not right, I thought something wrong went during our education by our parents.. they also divorced some years ago and never had a good relationship, NEVER... they never argued too much but I wish they did.. they always kept in emotions and me and my brother felt it, so we probably learnt to keep in emotions as they did..