Hello! First post here. I am a new mom (4 month old), and have struggled with anorexia/bulimia for 14 years. Prior to getting pregnant I was really struggling and was underweight. I had been in therapy for 2 years at that point and throughout most of my treatment my therapist had been encouraging residential or inpatient and I just couldn't bring myself to do it for all the usual reason, job, wedding planning, and my grad school degree along with "I don't need that much help." Well I was doing slightly better when I got pregnant but still acting on some behaviors and trying to weight restore. I get pregnant and gain 65lbs!!! 65!!! so my body image is in the toilet now since i've only lost half of it at this point. My therapist of 2 years retired when i was 5 months pregnant, and she was the first therapist I had had that I was able to open up to. I did pretty well considering I had a baby during one of my last semesters of grad school, no postpartum depression and handled baby and school well. But not now. I am overwhelmed with anxiety about my upcoming semester, I'm restricting, I'm obsessing, I worry incessantly about people close to me dying. I went and got prescribed diet pills. UGH and my husband hates discussing ED because its really the only thing we fight about. I just needed somewhere to vent. I miss my therapist and feeling like I had a place to unload all these feelings, worries etc.