I'm like you...I was ALWAYS goal oriented & put no value in emotions. Goals were degree, & career, nothing else mattered to me & marriage was just supposed to be a compliment to my goals, not a goal.

I actually thought that people were either logical or emotional. My mom was emotional & I was logical. Then with my DBT group leader I learned that our mind has both parts & that being mindful of the big picture & pulling logical & emotional thinking together is how we come up with the best WISE MIND decisions for our lives.

I learned that emotions & feelings need to be RECOGNIZED but not in control. I didn't recognize mine or acknowledge they even existed so in reality I didn't really know how I felt except ANGRY at the world around me & definitely at my H for being the irresponsible way he was when I needed a responsible person to take care of things when loosing my career created a breakdown. That whole time of being in just talk therapy was totally wasted time. Until I started to learn about how the brain works & started to put the pieces together & understand ME & my thoughts it was impossible to understand my reaction to what was REALLY going on in my life.

I truly hope that you can find good therapy (either DBT or CBT) that is presented in an educational way to learn from so you can actually integrate it into your life. It's interesting that living in Los Angeles I never found a good therapist until I moved to a small town 2100 miles away.

There have been some other major changes that have helped me make a difference but for me, DBT provided the knowledge, understanding & words that finally helped me to be able to express myself. Geyying out of the bad living situation I was in was my first step though. Was glad I didn't have a career tying me down.