Hi,
I have issues with my mother and sister and its very painful. I am 37, my sister is 38, my mother is 72.
my mother divorced my father when I was around 3. I don't ever remember living with my father and mother together.
Anyway, my mother always preferred my sister, maybe saw more in her??? I don't know exactly how to explain it.
I grew up knowing this but my mother, probably feeling bad would placate me and tell me she loved me very much. As a teen, my mother would hit me in the face but never my sister. She would ALWAYS take my sister's side in a fight. and still does. They are now to this day like one. I am glad that they are close and they each have someone in a time of need and esp since my mother is older i'm glad my sister is close, however, whenever I am with them...they act snobby like they are above me. My sister kind of always looked at herself as better than me and so has my mother.
I have horrible self esteem, never really had a built self esteem because of this.. I have been I therapy and my therapist has been the only one to tell me my ssister is not better than me...this is not a competition to me. I do not want to compete with my sister.
I love my sister, I love my mother. I am just hurt inside...
I have been kind to them, I have tried to talk to them..i have cut out contact with them twice for long periods of time..
I cannot for the life of me get them to respect me or look at me as a person .and they constantly want to place me beneath them.
It has lead me to the bottle many times ... i have reckless behaviors in my past and i believe this is a part of it...
when people hurt me, i usually like to forgive them and forget about it and get over it...a charming quality in my opinion yet people trash that and take advantage to keep hurting me....so i cut them out and taught them to stop treating me bad....i started again and slowly but surely they are doing the same behaviours...i'm angry at them... they try to control my feelings and say i should/should not feel this way....its such a long story and complicated...what do i do....i feel like i need to move far away from them