Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ42
I've been living with PTSD for a long time. I hardly sleep because of nightmares and being hyper-alert. My PTSD comes from being savagely, wish I was kidding, every day and from military service. I've been married and divorced three times. They were all gold diggers but I'm sure PTSD was a factor on my part. I haven't seen my two daughters in 7 years and that is killing me more each day.
I'm kind to people and help others a lot, but I live a solitary life because women, not all I'm sure, want nothing to do with me. Is it my looks? Is it because they think I'm unstable from PTSD? I wish I knew. The VA counseling system is terrible. So many foreign doctors that barely comprehend English. I've had counselors scream at me because I didn't agree with something they said. There aren't any medications to help with this.
I'm tired of being alone, lost, and barely surviving. I wear my veteran hat and I've had people spit on me. We soldiers sacrificed a lot to protect our people, our home and freedom, only to be left alone to rot. I grow more angry every day. Mostly I'm just tired, so very tired from the inside out.
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Hello and welcome fellow vet. I can totally understand the VA issue. I have complained about more than one time here on PC. But I do understand it's not the fault of the people that's working there, they are frustrated too. It's our government that has thrown away vets for as long as I can remember. From what I'm hearing from you may be closer to CPTSD than PTSD. Though the DSM5 has yet to recognize CPTSD and they say it's covered in some subsection of the PTSD criteria. Look into CPTSD. Go to Pete Walker's website and get educated on it. I felt better when I knew what was going on and some options that were out there. The grounding techniques, meditations, DBT classes, look outside the VA for free courses. If you can afford it try online counseling, though not many are trained to handle multiple traumas so you may get frustrated with that. I tried it and did get some benefit out of it but I needed more.
I isolate a lot , rarely leave the house. I know this is not a good thing but it works for me right now.
As far as the women....I can only speak for myself but I like men to be stable, not a lot of baggage, not a lot of drama, positive outlook and a good person. There's no reason you can be these to some woman but you need to focus on getting you better first. A the title says...COMPLEX is what we are, what our situations are, so there's no quick fix to it. But we have to keeping striving to make it to the finish line, especially for your kids. There's one thing I've some to accept and that is life will not ever be like it was, might get close but so much has changed, people have changed, I have changed there's no way it can be the same. But it can be good again and maybe even better, that's what I'm hoping for anyway. Without that hope we have nothing. So don't worry about the FUBAR VA. That's not going to change anytime soon, maybe
But I hope it will. Take care my friend.