Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
YES, unfortunately Trace it's hard to find a good therapist and I believe you when you say you feel a lot like you do when you talk to your mother because a therapist can lack the ability to actually help patients the way a patient needs them to. I had experienced that myself, our mental health system in this country is severely lacking so it's not just you that has a hard time finding a decent therapist.
It's good that you are doing the research and in that have gained a lot on your own. I have noticed an improvement in you since you first joined. Maybe you are isolating but you are also making it a point to learn about how you are challenged and have access to this site where others can validate and reassure you. I also think you are using the site in a healthy way where you have a place to write out what you are learning and how what you are learning applies to your own challenges.
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It has been a long hard road and I can see some changes by becoming more educated on the different aspects of this complex situation. When I first started coming here I was in a fog, shock, I did well to get a complete thought written. I had no idea the world was turning around me, because to me it had stopped. But by learning more I could research more and find possible options to the situation, try it, see if it helps, if not move on to something else at a different angle. Kind of like doing a crossword puzzle. Plus, just because an option didn't work right then doesn't mean it can't be a tool later. Sometimes you are just not in a place to understand and accept a concept. Maybe at a later time that the same concept may be beneficial because you are ready for it then.
I look at CPTSD as water. You can pour it into different containers and it takes a different shape or color, but it's still the same water. Or "you can shave a leopard and it still has it's spots" But with the water if you keep shaking it up, moving it, keeping it oxygenated it doesn't grow stagnant, until an inferior particle is added. So yes, a lot of over thinking was used up during this healing process so far. I'm not better , just different place right now, still fragile, still scared, still tired, terrorized by memories.