Thank you all for the replies. Só leigheas, thank you, I really do appreciate that.

I do have a psychiatrist, he's just not very helpful and only gives meds with nearly no advice or input. I've been wanting to get a full psych eval somewhere and even just find a better pdoc, I've just been having trouble finding one anywhere, especially with a short wait.

I just can't make and stick to decisions about anything. I wish I knew what decision a more normal, clearly-thinking-me would make.

And out of the options I have, one is a hospital I went to a couple years ago and would rather avoid for bad memories, and another is a state hospital I haven't heard good things about. So the one I've been considering is a religious based hospital, and I'm kinda paranoid about that. They seem like a good hospital, but I'm worried somehow they'd do things differently and I'd regret going, I don't know if that's irrational or not.