Cy, thank you for last night. Depressme, its okay and thank you too.

Yesterday wasnt a good day for me all around. The more the day progressed the harder it got for me to not drink. Somehow i did get through.

I had some of those awful dreams last night and woke up to a strong desire to drink and forget about it all.

I did make it to the t appt today. That did not go well for me mentally. I walked out angrier than i have been i think in the past few weeks. I got in my truck and it was dead. I got in touch with someone to give me a jump, but had to wait an hour. I leaned my head back and looked into the side mirror. Right there in perfect view, the Daiquiri Shack. I grabbed my phone and fumbled with it trying to call someone. I talked with someone about what was going on. They tried to help me see straight and i thank them for being there for me.

I broke anyway. I walked across the street and got something to drink. And just like the person i spoke to said, im now regretting that dum move.

I dont know if i'm going to get where alot of you guys are. At this moment it really seems impossible. I want to stop. I get the gut feeling of want in me. Then when it gets to where i cant stand the jittery feeling, upset and crampy stomach and the sweating, where i cant cool down for nothing, i break.

I dont know no more. How do i get past this?