Like me staying too long & not paying attention to the red flags.

He doesn't sound like the kind of person willing to find out what is really wrong with himself. Good idea to use his money as much as you can to pay off debt then don't give him access to getting into any more debt NO MATTER WHAT.

He sounds very unstable & not the kind of person who could ever care for you if you needed it. That was the final realization that drove me to leaving after 33 years of marriage....when I got sick with depression & needed him to be responsible he FAILED miserably.