We can't predict the future and neither should we try. It's for that reason, I won't tell you "Hey, there is hope. You'll get better." At the same time, I can't "predict" that things won't improve and that there is no hope.

What you're feeling right now, there's no shame in it. None. You have an illness, not a "case of the blues". You shouldn't be having to muscle through this, at least not without anyone in your corner. You have us, but I also realize that we're just cyber-people and can't be physically there for you through this. Even if we could be there, that's about all we could do. No one really knows what another person's going through. The only expert in a someone's life is them. So, in this case, you're truly the only one you'll ever have. Sounds lonely, sure, but it's actually not. You'll always have you and you'll always have the answers (whether you can sort through them right this moment or not is a different story) on how to get through this period. I remember you talking about your loss of faith, or at least religion. I remember when that happened to me; it kind of fractured my universe because I believed and worshiped so much. I had no doubt there, at least none that mattered. Church was my therapy as much as it was a way of life for me. When that was gone, it took me a while, but I realized that I needed to replace my faith into something else. I couldn't find it in a particular person as I'm very skeptical. Every now and then I hold it in humanity but that's very frugal. I found something, though. Do I like myself? Far from it but at least I know one thing for sure and have faith in it. I can never leave me. I'm stuck with this person. Everyone else can leave, without exception, and a lot of people have. I will always be here because there's no physical way I can go anywhere.

I don't know if any of what I said actually helps or if it was just rambling. I'll be here whenever you need me. Hang in there.