Oh, S&G or should it be SAG given how much weight you've stacked on as a side effect of those anti depressants....you're STILL hanging in there for me to respond? Wow. That's crazy!

Why on earth would you expect me to be my usual, promptly responsive self, when nothing about me is what it used to be? Don't you get it already? The T you hired has left the building and he's never coming back. I can't believe you've spent the past three months trying to turn me back into him again. Who does that?

Oh, wait - yeah, that's right, stupid, fragile people who wouldn't recognise a bad relationship if they fell over it, because they're so busy frantically trying to turn the other party into the caregiver they need.

Well here's news for you: I ain't that guy. Never was, never will be. Next question?

Oh, what happens next?

That's easy: I'm banking on you giving up and walking away any day now. You've got a ridiculously low threshold for therapeutic frustration, and it's working wonders for me. Just a day or two more, and you'll be emailing to tell me that you're quitting, there'll be no more pesky questions, and I can get on with something much more interesting.

THis is hard for you - really? Wow, there's some pathology right there. Maybe if you hadn't got so attached to Mr Perfect T, and had taken some notice of the signs, we wouldn't be having this tiresome dialogue now.

But since we are, here's how it'll go down:

You're a therapist breaker from way back, and it's so deeply ingrained in you, I won't even need to push you towards that line of thinking. You'll take both of us there all by yourself, and I can just quietly exit stage left and leave you angsting it out with some other poor bastard. God grant him strength.