I remember laying in the hospital after my second son and there was a spinal anesthetic that was too much and I couldn't move my lower extremities and looking at my husband next to me who tormented me for 9 months and thinking I cannot trust him to be there for me, he cannot be my caregiver. Was a sad time for me.

He wasn't much for moving off the couch, still isn't, despite logging in more than 40 hours weekly and maintaining employment. Even with sons.

It's going on 7 years since the divorce. My oldest of three sons will turn 14 soon. My youngest is 10, middle is 11. I couldn't ask for better sons. They all receive excellent feedback from the schools. I receive feedback as well, not that I'm not my own worst critic.

I'm a survivor of spousal abuse. I have been in remission from MS for 5 years and 10 years remission prior to that flare. I took three years after my divorce and spent it focusing on my own passions, interests, self help work, therapy included before entertaining another relationship.

It's natural to feel conflicted about a major life changing decision.

What can you do if he's an unwilling participant in the growth of such a serious committed relationship.

My oldest had an interview for a school yesterday. His biggest challenge question, as told to me by the admission counselor was his father leaving us. I'm not certain what spin that he took with that, but that's how it felt despite my filing the paperwork. Was though his father checked out.

I've seen separations work themselves out, but it takes two willing participants.