I wish I could cuddle and tell you all. It's horrid to be me right now. I know I shouldn't say that as I am tempting the gods. But it hurts. I am nothing and life is nothing and I have no motivation to be. I want to know who I am but I think I see and this person is not anyone who will get off their 30a= pound gained weight from drugs and be anybody again. I am afraid of the world.