It's my sister's birthday today. So far it seems like I'm not going to the dinner. Just thinking about my family makes me angry, and I know how it's gonna go anyway. Practically no one talking to me or showing interest in me anyway. I'm so sick of it. Every time I'm not there they act like it's a big deal I'm not there, but when I actually am there no one is really showing any interest in me anyway. So it looks like it's not happening again today. I don't know how they will take it. Probably be mad, and I get to push away the few people close to me away.

It just brings up a lot of anger in me thinking about my family and the past. It makes me miserable.