Anyone that i've ever built a relationship with in my life no longer cares. Maybe i've scared them off, or maybe they've just realised that they have more important things in their lives.

It took every ounce of courage for me to tell the people that i did about my SI, and now, i don't even hear from them. It's almost as if that minor detail about how much i'm struggling doesn't really even process. There is so much turmoil going on inside me and i feel so alone and scared, and now my thoughts are just being validated about how much i don't matter.

My brother got in a serious car accident (he's doing ok tho) and my parents neglected to even mention it until a week later. As if the thought just slipped their mind of letting me in on what happened.

I honestly feel as though i don't matter. To anyone. And that thought scares the hell out of me because thats all i want. To feel loved. And to not feel like that .. well its just devastating.

I think i might just crawl into a hole and see how long it takes anyone to notice. But i'm not going to hold my breath.