Thank you, it's very kind of you to answer! I appreciate your thoughtfulness and thoroughness too. I'm not open to doing therapy, for a number of reasons - I just put that in my signature because it's a common question on here.

I do hope to try an SSRI to give me some breathing room. I think it will help.

I should specify, my PTSD is not related to childhood issues; the things I posted here are separate and not anything I've ever shared before with anyone.

I probably should have just kept this post to my private journal where it belongs. On second consideration, I'm not comfortable discussing it.

Thank you again. I'm glad you had good success with your experience!