I have not went through this personally but I was in a relationship with someone who had the same feelings and thoughts. All I can recommend is to be open about it as much as you are comfortable with. Know that you are not responsible for what happened to you and that act of distrust was not something you could control and should not have to feel the burden of it. When she started to allow herself time to realize that she deserves all the love that she puts out to the world, she was able to start to relax. When she was relaxed she could be in the moment and just focus on the connection. There were occasions when the visuals would still pop up, but we allowed ourselves the option to stop at any point. We could usually find other ways to have fun and not have the visuals play a part of it. If at anypoint the mood was just gone, we tried other ways of being close. We hadn't realized that you could get a feeling of intimacy from doing other things besides sex. We would lay together on the couch and watch a movie or something. Just know that you are in control of your body and you can do what you want, when you want. Intimacy is supposed to be fun, allow yourself the time to be ok with you. You are not wrong and you do not deserve to carry the burden someone else put on you. Take a breath and find a connection. It is a good start. Find what answers work for you. Also know that you are not alone and some one (me) cares about you and wants to see you happy! I am here to listen if you need anything.