I've been out of a job for a few years due to a number of health difficulties, and am now taking steps to get my life back on track. I suffer from some sort of phobic anxiety disorder and was thinking I wouldn't survive whatever I need to do next without medication (never taken psych meds before) - however, I went and read about people's experiences on those meds and now I'm terrified, not wanting to have to take them after all..

So, I decided to FACE what it is that makes me so scared whenever I'm around other people - and realised it's BELIEVING I'm totally unlovable. What initially started my downfall years ago was dating this guy who actually LIKED me - as crazy as I'm sure this sounds, I couldn't handle it! It completely broke me, my idea of myself as someone whom NOBODY could love.. I ended up in therapy where we dove deep into my childhood and my dad being scary as hell, and all the losses that entailed..

So, now I'm at a place where I need to start believing I AM lovable. Of course I am - there's just no other way! So no matter what happens 'out there', no matter who decides to hate me and treat me like dirt, it doesn't change the fact that I am lovable. Always. If I can believe this, understand it, really grasp it, I feel I'll finally have the ground beneath me through which I will never fall..