OMG, so a coworker had a similar conversation with my CEO a few days ago and she filled me in on what he said. Apparently he said that J wasn't performing well because of personal problems in her life (and we are all pretty well aware that her marriage is crumbling), but my coworker's response was this is a business, and if she can't produce because of her personal life then she needs to take time off. And she shouldn't be promoted for falling apart at work!

I guess my coworker also said to him that she knows of like 10 people who want to leave because of all this stuff going on, and he said "oh wow, I only knew about two...[another person] and seesaw." So clearly after our discussion, he thinks, even though I didn't say I was wanting to leave or hint at it or anything, that I'm on my way out. So forget trying to keep me. I have no value, worthless...makes me feel really good. He places no value on my skills or experience or accomplishments. I'm just someone who can meet deadlines and keep a calendar, apparently.

When my coworker told me that he was concerned with her personal life I nearly burst into tears of anger. I work EVERY DAY with three debilitating mental health disorders. I don't bring it to work with me. I get everything done that needs to get done. I work from home when I'm sick; I go above and beyond WHILE I struggle to maintain my mental health so I can continue to work. And he promotes this girl and gives her so much authority and responsibility because her marriage is falling apart and because it shows that she is falling apart on the job.

I have put so much work into learning this industry and she knows less than half of what I know and has half of my experience and accomplishments to back it up...yet for some reason, she is preferred over me. The writing is so clearly on the wall. And yes, it makes me feel like ****, and no, I can't get out of here fast enough. The thing is, it's going to be very hard on my system, having to move for another job, and that is basically what I'm going to have to do. I wanted to stick out like 3 years here, but my career is going to go up in flames if I stay here unless something changes, so I've got to get the hell out.

Sigh...I need a hug.

Seesaw