Over the past week, I'm more on the hypo side: not sleeping as much, racing thoughts, more impulsive, spending more money, more social. At first I was seeing myself as getting better since I get bursts of euphoria, but they are short lived. Since I had my "good" moments, it made me think I am okay, but I am not. I'm still struggling with something in particular that is troubling me and has been for a while......

Often, I'm stuck in the past when it comes to being fixated on negative things, and I get very much lost in thought, to the point where it can take 15-20 minutes before I snap back into reality. Occasionally, they are positive. Sometimes these daydreams are wishes of what I would like to happen. I am also hypersexual lately and this plays out in fantasies, although they are not always daydreams of a sexual nature. Other times, I have such sad, drawn out ones. This is much more typical for me, rather than the good ones. The sad ones happen continuously and get in the way of my day.

For instance, for twenty minutes, my mind was stuck in a daydream of being sick with a terminal disease and what would happen. This is just one example. Then, I find myself in tears. It is getting very hard to stay present. I'll lose track of time and have the tears running down my face. I hate being so emotional. I wish there was something out there that would dull my emotions or numb me.

It's getting to be a big issue, and I can't figure out what's wrong with me. Maybe it's rapid cycling? Either way, it's frustrating. Can anyone relate to having issues like this with getting stuck in the past and overly emotional out of nowhere? For those of you that can relate, has anything helped? I'm at a loss.