I initially accepted the abuse because I didn't realise what it was, we bonded over our shared feelings about spirituality, consciousness and awareness....then it became that all the abusiveness he was levelling at me wasn't really abuse because it was only bruising my ego and not the True me, not my real self, so if I got upset or angry at the things he would say to me, no matter how nasty he would tell me it was because my ego was out of control, in the spirit of trying to become 'self aware' I would listen and consider and contemplate, then question myself then come to the conclusion that maybe I had over reacted or maybe I was taking things too personally...it only started to become really clear to me that he was truly abusive when I saw that he was incapable of behaving in the way he demanded of me, his supposed spirituality was just the foundation to be constantly judging and labelling people, looking down on them and being negative and cruel...part of me felt like we'd been brought together for some reason or purpose...and maybe some elements of my own narcissism, I like feeling that I'm not living a 'regular' life, that I'm 'following my heart' or being true to myself, I've truly learnt a lesson here...what I thought was following my own heart was simply leaping into repetitive cycles of abuse that replicated my childhood and being a little girl with no voice again that just ends up trying to appease her tormentor to feel some affection or love.