You feel like you're going crazy...here's an example ...I come into the house and there are some of my books on the kitchen table, they've been moved off the cabinet they were on, I take a shower and start checking my e-mails when I get on, I'm aware of the books and planning to put them back or somewhere but just haven't yet, he comes in...'uhm have you seen these books on the table?'...yes...'so what game are you playing?'...I say 'what?'...'obviously I put them here and they're your responsibility to put away so are you trying to make a point? trying to achieve something?'...no...I just haven't put them anywhere yet, his tone is condescending, obnoxious, perturbing...'let me tell you what I see' he says...'I see someone, who is an abuser, a bully, a toxic mess trying to bring down everyone around them'...I'm like...wow what, why did you move them off the cabinet? How am I being a bully, what the hell...this turns into an argument, he starts demanding that I admit I have BPD, I say that whether I have BPD or not doesn't make me responsible for his behaviour and way...then I go into the bedroom to rest after the argument dies down, he barges in ten minutes later and starts flicking the light on and off, crawls on top of me and asks me why I'm so unloving, it's like being in an alternate reality, I'm looking at him incredulously, I just can't bring myself to back down anymore or go along with this constant appeasing him...he tells me that I'm a liar and I duped him into this relationship, even though everything I said when we met I truly meant and felt....just recently he told me that he thought I was being overly romantic hen we first met and he just 'went along with it'(his just going along with it involves telling me we were soulmates and had known each other lifetimes, that our meeting was fated and wehad been given this small window of opportunity to be together and so on)...so who really duped who, I told him I meant the things I said and I felt them, but I felt them about the person I thought he was, not this person who thinks it's his purpose in life to break peoples spirits to supposedly help them find their true selves...