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Old Jan 21, 2017, 07:37 AM
Misssy2 Misssy2 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Providence, RI
Posts: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by emgreen View Post
I take temazepam to sleep, but can't refill my prescription until Monday...I've been having sleeping problems for quite some time - getting only 3-5 hours a night despite the sleeper. While I was able to fall asleep on my own at 10:00 tonight, my phone rang at 12:30 am. It was a guy new to AA that I've talked to on the phone on three occasions & took out for coffee once (he'd asked me for my number a few weeks ago at a meeting). Anyways, this guy is having domestic issues & was contemplating going out for a bottle before liquor sales stop at 2:00 am. I'm not sure if I need to set boundaries, because he calls me everytime he wants to go out drinking (usually after midnight), but isn't going to meetings. I'll correct that...I'm picking him up for a meeting tomorrow at 10:00 am, but it will be his first meeting in three weeks. I told him he's got to start going to meetings again so he can drop some of his crap at the tables rather than letting it build up like it did tonight. There...I've just ranted like he was ranting to me...

I feel resentful because I'm now awake & probably will be until morning. I have no temazepam & if my sleep cycles get even shorter I'll end up in a bad space (I have bipolar disorder). I shouldn't feel resentful about this guy, as he's a blackout drinker just like I was. It also sounds like his domestic situation is much like mine was with my ex-wife when I stopped drinking...when you can't maintain self-control, you sometimes wind up being controlled by others. Man! I don't need or want a drink right now...I just need some sleep. I was sleeping so damned soundly when the phone rang. I guess that's just the cost of "giving it back" sometimes. Rant finished...
I think it is time that you tell this man gently that he has to find another "sponsor" that you did not realize that you were not prepared to be ALL-IN for him when he needs someone the most and for him that happens to be after midnight.

If you are not a sponsor to him but just a friend it benefits both of you if you set some boundries. Like say what I mentioned above...that you are sorry that you can not be the person he calls when he needs someone the most but he can call anytime before 10pm and that you still like attending meetings with him and getting to know him.

This is not a "him" problem, his drinking and his trying to stop and his calling someone when he needs them are all suggestions that he is using...he just needs some more and different people to call to suit the need that arises.

In order for these relationships to work and for no guilt to be anywhere...we have to remember it is an honest program.

I found honesty in AA brought me the deepest, longest connections.
__________________
"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell"
(My girlfriend had this ringtone for my phone calls...lol)

Bipolar 1
Anxiety

Current Medications:
Lorazepam
Zoloft
Abilify
Gabapentin

Thanks for this!
emgreen