Woke up in tears. Damn. Yesterday was actually the first decent day I've had in quite a while. Now today.

That feeling hits right behind the sinuses. I get a burning sensation both in the upper nasal cavity and then my eyes. Meaning that I want to break down. Most of the time, i refuse to. Because I don't feel any better afterwards. And all I end up with is clogged sinuses for hours.

Yesterday the music was enjoyable. Today it's basically nothing. So it's a day of mindless drivel on TV. Can't watch a movie at this point. Only make about a half hour in and I lose interest, then just shut it off. I'm talking about movie subjects that do hold my interest. Like ex. James Bond, Star Trek. Just lose interest and shut them off.

My life is blah. Everything is blah. I am blah. Actually, I'm worse than blah. My grandmother had it right. She called it correct with what she called me when I was 6. A worthless c0kksµkker. Who knew that you could see 50yrs into the future gramma? You should've sold that talent. Could've been rich.

It's the end of the world as we know it. And I don't feel fine. I want to walk off the end of the world. I'm almost rock bottom and don't know how damn many more times i can hit bottom. I've lost count on how many times I've don't it already. One of these times I won't bounce back. I'll shatter.