I always go through periods where I wish I could find a way to see if people really actually like me or care about me. I am always alone, always left out of social events and just not wanted by others. Sometimes I can tolerate it because I'm used to is but other times I get really annoyed and feel down. I never actually thought of suicide, and I don't plan on it either.

Sometimes though, I wish I could, in a way, fake my own death or something similar for awhile. Like, just simply leave or not talk to anyone for like a week or two just to see how many care and who they are, as well as how many doesn't care and who they are too. I know it sounds childish and I really couldn't pull it off, but sometimes I wish I could. Also sometimes wish I could find a way to see if people like me and why most people don't. Anyone else have this desire? Any suggestions on how to go about this and know how to determine if I am liked and if I am not, then why.