Hello NothingPeopleDo: I'm sorry you are struggling with so much negativity. Since you don't say what all this negativity relates to, it's difficult to know what to say here. The mainstream answer is... seek the services of a mental health therapist with whom you can, over time, explore what you have been through & what it has done to you. Talking all of this through, over a period of time, will help you to come to an understanding of your situation. Your family & friends can't do this for you. Certainly there are other approaches. But therapy is the one the vast majority of people are going to pursue.