In the past month I have been putting all my efforts into climbing out of the deep hole of depression I had been in for 2 years. I even made a post yesterday that I would take suicidal ideation off the table.

Today I lost my new job without any warning. I burst out crying and told the HR person that I am going to be homeless.

I came home because I didn't have a shift anymore. I took a hot bath.

I can't go back to that depressed state. I can't go back to staying in bed and isolating.

The job was getting me out of the hole and now I feel like they kicked me back down.

I can't go back to depression and social isolation and suicidal ideation.

Of course I thought of getting a bottle of wine and drinking the whole thing tonight. But I won't buy alcohol or drink it. Will probably go to bed early and get up early. Maybe go to church in the morning.

I am going to keep my vow of not entertaining suicidal ideation. If I have to I will call crisis lines every night.

I vow to get out of bed every single morning and get dressed like I am going to work and continue a job search for a new job where I will be appreciated.

I will probably take a break from Psych Central.