I tend to feel the aloneness during the weekends. I work M-F and surrounded by people. I work in a room all by myself that seems cut off from the beaten path. I guess I prefer it that way than to be packed in with others like sardines, and have to hear the gossips and drama. When I'm home from work, I don't feel like talking to anybody for the first two hours.

On the weekends I am very busy with domestic things like cleaning and shopping. I feel very strict about having to do those things. I had been alone so long that now I feel like I'm very set in my ways. If that routine gets interrupted, then I get upset. There are times that I don't like myself for feeling that way. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. Very busy and moving a lot, but getting no where that counts.

I feel like I have to go out of my way for my friends. It seems like they never come to visit me. I always have to go visit them. So I feel like there's an inner struggle with driving. It costs money and my finances are tight. I have an old man friend that always invites me to his house, but he rarely comes and visits me. I don't like going to his house, but I feel like I should once in a while. He has come to visit me, but he has to take public transportation to do so. He has money enough to afford it - it's like pocket change to him.

At my condo complex it's very difficult to make any kind of friends. There are some who don't like me; including a couple that lives downstairs from me. There's no one compatible to me. It would be nice to at least make a friend at where I live so that there wouldn't be any squabbles with driving.