So far this week I've slept walked for the first time ever, and this morning hubby asked me if I remembered what I was dreaming about last night? I was afraid to ask him what had happened. He said I was mumbling but couldn't make out any words. I said he should have nudged me, he smiled and said nooooo I wouldn't do that.

I emailed T yesterday saying I don't fully understand what has gone on between us and that I'm afraid she is going to get annoyed with me and quit...I said I needed to email her this as I think its bothering me a great deal for me to have slept walked.

She replied that this will come and go and that what went on between us was her acting out my unconsious and that its fine for me to keep asking and talking about it with her.

I can't believe that so many horrid events I've spoken about in T hadn't had this effect on me, unyet what went on between us last week has really effected me. I mean, yeah I know my adoptive mother was a tyrant, BUT its like I've just shrugged my shoulders and got on with it. But I guess I have been thinking about it in my consiousness from an adults perspective, but when the unconsious in me is awakened its the childs feelings from back then that are awakened.

My night times were my save place, now they are being invaded too. I now know that I've got to keep going forward, got to get these unconsious defences sorted. If someone had told me this is what it would be like, I would have laughted in their faces.

It is hard, I think this is going to be the hardest thing I ever do in my life! Its taken 3yrs of T sitting listen to me and listen to me for my unconsious to have finally reached this level of trust to begin to reveal its hidden depths.