I'm in a somewhat similar situation as you. Can't go to school and can't work. Having a life does seem a luxury, one that a lot of people take for granted. I'm two years older than you, it seems. There's one really good thing about being our age; statistically speaking, we have enough life left to change. Change everything. When I first started realizing I needed some help, I found myself incapable to reach out for it. I felt that I didn't deserve it and that I was a lost cause, anyway. My mind doesn't cope like the average mind should. The abuse I witnessed and endured growing up stunted that ability. My mind is a storm and too much is happening at once for me to be able to decipher how to get the **** out of it. I don't know if you know what I'm talking about here. I don't know your mind and I can only empathize with have I've read here. I'm a spectator looking into a piece of you. However, if you ever need or want someone to talk to, I'm here. Message me anytime. Welcome to PC.