Nice, here comes the rain (tears) again. about the 50th time since yesterday. Absolutely NOBODY to talk to. Sharing online is far different than sharing in person. Call some damn phone number? Yeah right. I'm not suicidal. I just want to curl up in a ball and die, not kill myself.

Wishing myself dead is not the same as having a plan.

The tears come and I beat them back. Because the aftermath for me is generally worse. Breathing through my mouth for a few hours is miserable because crying plugs my sinuses solid.

And I can't take a damn drive to try and break my mood. That will never happen for the rest of my life. And it's tearing me apart. I've lost my freedom.