Hello.. I'm a new member in this forum (40, female). I'm struggling with self-esteem and relationship issues. I went through a divorce 2 years back, which itself led to some amount of self-doubt and loneliness; about 6 months back I got into a close friendship with a co-worker (single, about my age) and got very emotionally attached with him. We went out together, spent nights chatting in a platonic way, shared personal experiences and grievances, he claimed to really like me and care for me as a person. However a couple of months back he started drawing back somewhat - saying he had an 'image' of me which he now found I didn't quite match up to - and became snarky and rude towards me, no longer initiating meetings or conversations.

Unfortunately (and perhaps inevitably) by this time I was already in love with him. I ended up telling him of my feelings. He seemed to react in a neutral way, saying he can never think of a friend in a romantic way (so a relationship was automatically ruled out); but he assured me that our friendship was to continue. However things are even worse between us now - he talks curtly to me, seems to mostly avoid me or be uncomfortable when I'm around, cuts me off if I try to ask him anything. It's hell, emotionally, because (a) I miss our previous friendship, (b) I still have feelings for him, and (c) I can't even avoid him completely since we work in the same department, live in the same building and have the same social group.

All this is definitely not helping my existing personal and self-esteem issues; the mental pressure of it is beginning to make me feel suicidal at times.

Help! Has anyone gone through anything similar? Is there a solution, other than leaving this job and moving away (which I can't do)?