btw i probably shouldn't have even said anything abou that bpd thing its just that i thought it might be helpful for you to research and see if perhaps you fall into that catagory. please don't take offense to that. i have been told that b/c i used to cut to get attention that thats what i have. but then my cutting got worse and i didn't do it for attention anymore i did it b/c it relieved pain and it was a way of coping. i'm just sharing my expierience i'm not saying that it pertains in any way to you!