Depends how we define 'aware'. I started drinking at age nine when I became aware of the existence of blackouts and thought that might be a great excuse to hide my frequent periods of amnesia. So, while aware of a of a dissociative symptom, I had no idea what was causing it. Ironically, while trying to get clean and sober eighteen years later, I experienced my first moment of co-consciousness. More awareness but still no name for it. Some research later, I had a name for it, but no diagnosis by someone legally licensed to do so. Wasn't diagnosed until about nine months ago but by that time there wasn't much left to become aware of.

Do you still struggle with denial at times?