Day 1 sober today. I relapsed again, wound up SI, got drunk and in a fight with bf, friend took me to detox/psyche ward. I have no insurance. I don't know how I'm going to pay for it, probably $6000.00. They didn't give me meds for 3 days. It was a waste of time. Came home and drank for another week. This morning I woke up sick and shaking, planning a beer run and I started to think about my life and how it's getting worse and worse. I decided to wait 20 minutes to get the beer. Then after the 20 minutes was up I decided to wait an hour and so far I've made it all day. I am very sick and I need a drink but I want my life back more. I broke up with bf today bc we always trigger each other to drink. I'll never be able to stay sober if I'm with him.