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I think I have been asserting myself by making choices with what to do with my time. So that's a plus.
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Excellent! This is indeed good news.
Good job!
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I don't know how to defend him when my parents are saying negative things about him. I barely know how to stand up for myself. I know this disappoints my boyfriend that I'm not able to back him up, and righteously so.
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I look at this a little bit differently. When you try to defend your boyfriend in front of your parents, you are buying into the idea that they have a say in who you date. I disagree with that. I think that who you date is up to you, and you don't have to discuss your choice or defend your choice with your parents. So my advice is to
inform them, if you want to, of what you or your boyfriend are doing, but not have a discussion about it with them, or try to convince them of anything.
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I'm not able to back him up
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It is impossible to change the minds of people who don't want to change their minds.
I personally see it as a really big deal that you are dating someone who your parents question or challenge. I think that your courage in doing that should be celebrated!
And if it is okay to say this, I am proud of you for that.
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But there is always that underlying nagging feeling telling me "I'm not coming home as early as my parents want me to (they're concerned I don't sleep enough)" or "I'm not doing enough work for my company and my bosses are going to think I am a slacker" or "I'm not making time to see my friends, they must think I am a horrible friend who never spends time with them anymore."
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People who are close to you personally or professionally must understand what is involved in the exams that you are undertaking.
Has anyone at work or among your friends complained about how you are doing under the very challenging circumstances? If so, what did they say?
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But there is always that underlying nagging feeling
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These feelings come from your childhood. My advice is to acknowledge that they are there, realize where they come from, and continue to move forward as best you can. The more you are able to assert yourself, the more theses feelings will gradually fade. It will take time for that to happen though. In the meantime, consider them to be annoying guests that you cannot right now get rid of but who are not going to stop you from reaching your goals.