Hi Dechan: Well... as you know... I'm a "student", so to speak, of the Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön. I'm currently re-reading her first (I believe) book Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living. (I've read & re-read it over the years.) I'm really trying, as best I can, to really focus on putting the Lojong teachings into practice.

I struggle with a lot of difficult emotions: anger, confusion, sadness, humiliation, passive suicidality (sometimes not so passive...) I also find myself experiencing little waves of paranoia from time-to-time. (I've made two serious, if unsuccessful, attempts so far to terminate my existence. So this is serious business for me.) I try to open to each experience, feel it as fully as possible, breathe into it, perhaps smile to it, & allow it to fade of its own accord. I practice "compassionate abiding", "transmutation practice" & tonglen (taking in & sending out.) I'm not on med's & I've never found a therapist who was worth the bother for me. So I have cast my lot with Ani Pema lock, stock & barrel... as the saying goes.