Took six years out of dating after my ex left.(didn't so much as look a guy up and down.)
Gained 40lbs and definitely gave up, believe me I have a few undesirable issues that don't help with dating.
Six months ago I started going out for coffee with a guy I have known through gaming. ( yeah you heard me right, I still game even tho I am the wrong side of 35.)
Anyway point is we clicked, neither of us were looking. (He has his own sht going on.)
We just went for a coffee cos we happen ed to be in town the same day.
I think what I am saying is you can look too hard. Sometimes doing the stuff that makes you happiest brings what you need your way.

I would love to hear about the stuff that makes you happy Art, the stuff you do for you.