I.am - you sound so much like me. The only difference is I am 42 and been married to the same man for 22 years. I don;t like touch. I am hypersensitive. It is uncomfortable when others touch me.

When H and I have sex, I usually wear a shirt and socks. Most of the time I keep my bra on. The more skin I can cover in order to avoid sensation the better.

As far as relaxing enough to climax, as nontraditional as this sounds, my T suggested alcohol before sex to knock the edge off of hte stress level.(or move to a state that legalized marijuana). Unfortunately I am not a spring chicken so that resulted in to much time in the bathroom. It is never good to have to stop during sex to go pee. That is a mood killer.

I don't know if it makes a difference to you or not. But I have past issues with CSA and rape. So that is most likely the cause of hte hypersensitivity to touch thing. Is there some kind of abuse in your past.

Also I have ADD/ADHD and attention span and distractability does affect things in the bedroom as well.