I feel I switch between states very quickly. In a blink of an eye. There is no gradual change for me. It's sudden.

People who beat their misery obviously are not doomed. But as long as we are miserable, then we are doomed, or at least we are inclined to think that way .

I think I have self-esteem issues, although you might not notice that if you met me in person. Ironically, I will be confident and furious if I felt I have to defend myself, or when I feel there is a legitimate purpose. I just don't feel confident in informal social settings. So, it's confusing. On the certain side, I feel anxious and overwhelmed around people.

It's not easy to not dwell in the past when your present is an extension to your past. I forget it sometimes in a moment of happiness, and try to use that positive energy to do something, just to be struck back to the past.