The people around you don't heal if you die. They chip away a little bit. It could break them further.

A friend of mine from school recently committed suicide and he thought he was hurting his family. Truthfully, his family were so sad when we saw them and it surprised me. None of them were angry, they just all wanted to find something they could've done differently. After all the pain he may have caused them in life, after he died it was amplified. A person doesn't heal from that. They hurt.

As for the pain you're in, suicide will permanently eliminate the possibility of it ever getting better. Like a permanent end of the road when all you needed was a shovel to clear away the snow. I understand your questions completely, because I've felt them. But I also know that however appealing it may become, death is not freedom.

Good luck in hard times