P.S. How old are you (approximately) and how long have you been treated for bipolar symptoms? I'm just curious. I think you will change your outlook after being treated for a while and you get older. I was diagnosed in 2003, and I'm in my early 30's. 
__________________
...Out of night and alarm
Out of terrible dreams
Reach me your hand!
This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep:
The white peace of the waking.
~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~
Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart 
Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN
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