Helpandbehelped, I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Clearly your fear and anxiety are making it hard to live your life. You do need to contact your therapist/psychiatrist, in person if you can but at least by phone to let them know what's happening with you. Is there anyone you trust who could help you?
Its clear from your post that you love your son and want what's best for him. Be strong for him if you can and reach out for help.
Sending you thoughts of healing and strength during this difficult time