(((((((((((((((((( everyone )))))))))))))))))) Thank you so much for the responses and concern. It's been rough. It's still rough, but feels rougher than it is because I'm running on empty after so long. I take time to "fuel up", and life takes me/us all for a spin again...draining the tank.

He's going, that much I know.

I'm in a no-win situation here. I could throw an absolute fit, or not even do that and just stand my ground or put my foot down and he wouldn't go. Let's look at that then...he doesn't go and he's miserable and I'm miserable. It's a no-win. I guess I'm angry at life right now. He SHOULD be able to go. I want him to! Life has been so hard though and it's still coming. Not his fault, not my fault, just is.

I guess that's why I said to him that I couldn't believe he even considered it. I guess that's what hurt...that he would and didn't approach his family to say that things are too much right now...asking for a few months. I'm hurt that he didn't consider without my saying...being put in a position.

The man deserves a year-long vacation, truly. I do too. He'll go and I'll make it.

If I'm being honest, I guess too that I'm resentful of the fact that he *can* go (rest and enjoy himself) and even if I had the opportunity, I wouldn't because I don't feel like I can. If I tried it, I would freak the entire time with everything going on. About a month ago me and hubby went away for two days and I should've stayed home. I was more anxious going because there's been so many health and other concerns here.

On a brighter note, my daughter is doing MUCH better today after only three days on the beta-blocker! YAYAYAY. One day at a time...

Love and thanks,

KD