Thanks for explaining more. It really can be hard to know what is going on when there are so many unanswered questions.

Sounds like your daughter might have said something to her t about her worrying about confidentiality. That is completely normal - I think most people worry about that. What that means, though, is that it is also natural for teens to be worried about therapists etc talking to their parents because most of their memories about about being kids where they really didn't have any confidentiality to speak of. Part of it is about independence. And about freedom to discuss all kinds of things and come to ones own decision about them (e.g., how much one really wants friends who gossip and backstab, how one feels about issues of sex before marriage, how one feels about issues of drug taking etc etc). Everyone needs to come to their own decisions and it can really help for a teen to talk to a therapist (as a neutral third party) and come to their own decisions (which most often match their parents) ;-)

I hear your concern, though...

Sounds like your daughter is concerned that therapy will stop when she wants it to continue... And that your main concern is that it does cost a lot of money and so you want to know whether she really is benefiting from it or whether there are cheaper forms of entertainment (in case she views it more like that). Could you ask your daughter about this? Tell her that it does cost a lot of money and that if she feels that it is really helping her out then that is one thing... But that you are concerned that she really does benefit and it isn't just a social encounter or something like that.

If you explain it to her that way (and reassure her that she needent tell you details about what they are working on - you would just like to know whether they are working on something...) then she might be happier about you talking to the therapist. Another thing (maybe the best way of approaching it???) Would be to try and arrange a joint meeting with your daughter and her therapist. That should reassure your daughter that you guys aren't talking behind her back and then everyone can air their concerns.