Since I lost my job I haven't been doing much. I am right back to Square One isolating, worrying, and also feeling very depressed. No matter what I do I have too many problems and can't overcome them.

The only thing that is different is that I took a vow to not go back to suicidal ideation and I am sticking to it. Living with that is way too painful and I ended up having to call crisis lines almost every evening.

I came so very close to being happy the day before I got fired. I felt like things were looking up. I felt like I had worked hard and it was starting to change my life.

Now I am thrown back down to the bottom of the mountain.